Fellowship 101

It goes without saying that our current, living generations are not as capable as previous generations in many practical areas. We live in an age when artisanship and craft are very specialized and carried out by the select few. For example, making soap and cheese are considered specialized tasks today and reserved for those “crunchy types” of folks. Not long ago, these were commonplace and necessary practices that took place from home to home.

The point is not to knock our current generation, but rather to illustrate a point. There are some practices - ancient ones, even - that we cannot afford to lose. The problem is (as I see it) that some aspects of modern, popular church culture have worked to bury this ancient practice out of sight from the common Christian. I am talking about the biblical practice of fellowship and hospitality.

We are hopefully seeing the last remnant of the commercialized, consumeristic church. I pray my children will see the fad and experiment of "seeker-sensitive" churches go away entirely in their lifetime. The consumeristic model is one that is just as it sounds; churches orient their Sunday liturgies, weekly functions, and word choices toward those who come to a church in order to get and not give. The church, rather than being seen as a unique and holy organism, is seen as an industry to offer services. This is an unhelpful and failing model, as shallow churches turn out shallow Christians, and fostering a mindset of consuming, rather than participating, is robbing the people of biblical participation and ownership.

If you have spent much time in the evangelical church world, you have been affected by this mindset to varying degrees. Even the most obscure, smalltown churches seem to have been impacted, even slightly, by the consumeristic mindset that's been so widely promoted and employed in recent history. We are takers. We go to church to receive (to be fed). We sit for 90 minutes on Sunday, sing songs we like, hear a sermon, chat with friends for a minute or two, then go home. See you next Sunday.

Much should be said about this broad topic, but let's focus on just one negative effect that the consumeristic mentality has had on us evangelicals. Here it is:

We've depended so entirely on the church to organize fellowship for us that we don't know how to do it on our own.
 
Fellowship has, for too long, been viewed as a service a church offers, rather than a trait of the Christian lifestyle.

Does the local church need a program or list of events to create avenues for fellowship within the body? It shouldn't. There is nothing wrong with a church planning events for her people. I rather like these events, in fact. The point is that if a church member is depending upon someone else to plan and coordinate fellowship for them, that's an indication that a good shift in thinking is in order.

At Bayview bible Church, the elders recently announced the decision to implement Wednesday night services in place of our former Home Groups (at least for a season). The Number One question I've received since this announcement has been, "What are we going to do about fellowship?" This would be like if you asked me to rotate the tires on my truck by myself. I've never done it before, and I've always depended on someone else to do it for me. I need some guidance!

Don't lose hope, Christian. You can and really must take charge of Christian fellowship. I understand how intimidating it can be to instigate meaningful relationships and planned interactions with folks in the church. Here are a couple guiding principles for you to keep in mind, followed by a practical suggestion or two to help you get started.

Principle #1: You don't need permission to pursue relationships within the church body. I don't mean for this to sound too elementary, but I think some of us need to hear it from time to time! You are well within your right to pick a night, send some invitations, and welcome other parts of the body of Christ into your home. We kindly ask that you do not promote any heresy, but other than that, please have a ball!

Principle #2: It's easier than you think. You don't have to come up with anything fancy. Fellowship is simple. Just make it happen. For example: take a moment to think about something you've planned to do this week (run errands, find firewood, go for a hike), and invite someone along to join you. That's for a one-on-one or a couple-to-couple situation. Here's another: Have a few families to your home for a cookout. These simple ideas are more than adequate. You'll be surprised at the return on such a simple investment. Now, for a couple suggestions to make the whole endeavor easier.

Suggestion #1: Use your calendar. Don't wait for fellowship to happen spontaneously. Pick a date in advance. Ask the question, "Who have we not connected with in a while (or ever)?" send the invite. Lock it in. The hardest part is over at this point!

Suggestion #2: Get outside your comfort zone. We all have our friend groups. Even in the church, there are those toward whom we gravitate relationally, and that's ok. You can't be best friends with everyone. You must, however, put in the good work to get to know your church body. I encourage you to invite people over (at least every other time) who you admittedly don't know as well as you should. You might be surprised at how well you connect with them. Some of my closest connections have been made in this way, and I continue to be surprised.

Consider this with me:
Imagine you invite people over to your house twice per month. Each time, you invited two families over. This means that there are six household-to-household interactions taking place at your direction each month. Now, what if five other households did the same thing? The number of interactions jumps to 30. See how quickly this multiplies? There can be consistent, meaningful fellowship among the people of the church in the intimacy of our homes without any church program in place.

What would keep you from implementing something like this in your own household? Fear of what people will think of your home? Fear of vulnerability? Fear of attachment to brothers and sisters in Christ? Beloved, step out in faith. Open your schedule and your home. Watch God work as he gives you more and more space in your heart for the members of the body. Reclaim this ancient practice!